The emptying nest

“Butt out,” says the teenager, pointedly staring into my eyes. “Stop being so nosy and annoying,” says the other teenager, giving me her perfected side-eye glare. The teens have spoken, and they are clearly telling me to stop hovering. My reign as a mom to young kids has come to an end.

This is my new reality. At 14 and 17, my kids don’t need me so much. They are doing their own thing and living their best Starbucks-laden lives. Gone are the days of entertaining them all day long and planning fun family activities to fill the day. There are no more butts and noses to wipe, no more bedtime stories to read, and no more trips to the park to wile away some hours and energy.

Of course, I am still called upon to be a chauffeur to sleepovers, football games, and pool parties. I am the downtrodden meal-maker, the 9pm homework helper, and the one to help tweak the conclusion sentence of an essay. I still maintain the mental catalogue of the appointments, the schedules, and the endless who/what/when/where/why’s. Thankfully, I also still get frequent “tea” from my daughter, sips of gossip and crushes and scandalous stories of vaping. I live for the tea, drinking up every delightful detail.

But now, as my children spread their wings, I find myself with this new commodity of TIME that I have not had in my possession for 17 years. A Saturday rolls out in front of me like a deserted highway. A dusty tumbleweed scrambles by. What should I do? How should I fill the time? What is fun to me? I feel a bit like a 49-year-old toddler trying to walk and coming out all wobbly and woozy.

It feels like an ending is lurking on the horizon, and I need to start working on the beginning that will inevitably follow. I want to be conscious and mindful about who I am going to be as my nest empties. What will fill my nest now? Fitness? Friendships? Spirituality? Creativity? I want to live on purpose and direct my energy into people and activities that will fill my soul and keep me inspired.

I don’t have it all figured out yet which leaves me restless. As my kids slowly push me away and push out into the world, I feel an urgency to pour into that empty space that they will leave behind. But maybe this is the time for me to pause, remain open, and let the next phase unfold organically. I’ll just be here, in my emptying nest, watching my teens take flight and wide open to whatever the universe brings me next.